


Looking towards the future

by geminiangel



Series: 2017 NCIS Holiday Holidays Advent Challenge [17]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Christmas, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 16:14:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13034784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geminiangel/pseuds/geminiangel
Summary: Written for the 2017 NCIS Holiday Holidays Advent Challenge over at https://ncis-discuss.livejournal.com





	Looking towards the future

Dec 16: Christmas past, present and future

 

After a night of dreams, a nice long jog was good for clearing the mind. Unfortunately, there were too many errands he needed to finish to take a long run through the park. He'd have to settle for a nice brisk walk. He needed to stop by that bookstore to pick up the book he had special ordered as well as a few other things. Hopefully, it wouldn't be overly crowded this early.

Gloved fingers gently traced the letters of a name. Every few steps, another name, another stop, another tracing. So many names, Kate, Cassidy, Pacci, Franks, Mace, Jen and now Dorney. Each year the list grew and each year he came to visit. Each year, he worried about whose name would be added. With a promise to come back he exited the memorial. Not ready to go home, he decided to stop into the bookstore down the corner for a cup of coffee.

"Sorry." Tony apologized to hard chest he was currently buried against. Anxious to get warm, he had ducked deeper into the collar of his coat and made a beeline for the door.

"DiNozzo?" The chest rumbled.

"Gibbs?" Tony was amazed when Gibbs guided him into the store without dislodging the younger man from his chest. The bell tinkled merrily behind them.

"Bitterly cold out there." Gibbs said.

Realizing he was still invading his boss' private space, Tony straightened up. "The weatherman said this morning would be pleasant and to take it advantage of it. Can I buy you a cup of coffee to make up for running you over?"

"I'll grab us a table." Gibbs agreed.

Grateful for the warm store, Tony took off his scarf and peeled off his gloves. Stuffing them in his pocket, he placed his order. He thanked the clerk with a smile and a big tip. Putting the cups down on the bar table, he sat down on the stool across from Gibbs. "What brings you out in the cold?"

"Just picking up a book I ordered for Ducky."

"You know they can send those to your house now." Tony smirked as Gibbs gave him a raised eyebrow.

"What brings you out, Mr. Know-It-All?"

Tony was tempted to give him a smart answer but suddenly the weight of the morning seemed to much to bear. "I was visiting."

"Visiting?"

"Kate, Pacci, Cassie, you know…"

"I stopped by last week." Gibbs admitted.

"I hadn't stopped by the National Law Enforcement Officer Memorial since May." Tony sighed. "So many new names."

"Dorney."

Tony took a long sip of his Christmas Joy coffee. "Hard to believe."

"Grateful there weren't more. You visit often?"

"Couple of times a year. Usually when I'm in the area for court or something." Tony said. "So, besides Ducky's book, got other errands that bring you out so early?."

Gibbs fingered his cup. Later, he would probably blame bad espresso, but at the moment it felt good to talk to someone. "Dreams. Happens a lot leading up to Christmas."

"Nightmares?"

"Not exactly. Mostly, Shannon and Kelly on Christmas morning, Christmas dinner, Christmas Eve in church. Just visions of Christmas past."

"Ahh. For me, it's my mom before she died." Tony admitted. "There weren't any Christmas' after that. Not many of us stayed over the holiday at the academy."

"Got plans this year?"

"Not really. Jimmy wanted me to come over but it's his and Breena's first Christmas. I think they should have this to themselves."

"Senior coming in?"

Tony laughed harshly. "Senior and I have never spent Christmas together."

"Not even when your mom was alive?"

"Nope." Tony let the 'P' pop. "You and your dad getting together?"

"Actually, no. They have a new preacher. There's a lot of widowed, family-less and lonely seniors, so he thought it would be good if the group took a trip this year."

"But your dad has you."

"We've been doing better but… it's still a bit difficult. I'm used to being alone for Christmas."

Both men took long sips of their coffee and were pulled into memories of Christmas past. Gibbs recovered first. "Pack a go bag this week. When we get off work this week, plan on coming home with me." Gibbs said impulsively.

"Are you serious?"

Gibbs could have laughed it off as a joke but when he thought about it he realized he liked the idea. "Yes. We'll hit the grocery store and stock up. Go shopping. Have a proper Christmas, just the two of us."

"A proper Christmas? You mean, a tree, turkey and the whole thing?"

Gibbs mentally readjusted. "Sure. We'll grab a couple of steaks to throw on the grill for Christmas Eve. Friday and Saturday, we'll fix up the house."

"I've never had a real Turkey dinner. I mean, I've had it in a restaurant but never one that I helped make."

"So, you up for it?"

"Yes." Tony felt his heart swell with happiness.

Tony had thought Gibbs was joking about shopping, but early Friday morning they headed out to find a tree and decorations. Sometime during the day Gibbs had become Jethro. They had agreed on a real tree but bickered happily over white lights versus colored, icicles versus tinsel, a theme color or a variety. Just before leaving the store, Tony had stumbled on to an electronics sale. The wall in Jethro's living room was now decorated with a nice new big screen television. If a few things were purchased out of sight and secreted away, neither man admitted it. Saturday, they had taken a break to watch OSU beat the Tar Heels on the new television set. Of course, that was after Jethro had sent Tony to the kitchen to make a salad so that the older man could safely install the bracket for the television. Tony and the drill had made Jethro nervous for some reason.

"You asleep there?"

Tony smiled drowsily. He wasn't quite asleep but he didn't want to wake up. Through his half-closed eyes he could see the lights of the tree. He was warm and full of the steak and potatoes they had grilled for dinner. They had eaten in front of the tree listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir before tuning in a Christmas music channel. As long as he wasn't awake, Tony could pretend he hadn't slid sideways and was now cushioned on Jethro's chest. He felt the other man shift and prepared to be pushed away. Instead, he felt an arm wrap around him and hold him close.

"If you don't go to sleep, Santa won't come." Gibbs whispered. "Of course, it kind of feels like he already has. First time in so many years, it feels like Christmas. Want to wake up like this tomorrow morning."

Unconsciously, Tony repeated his question from the week before. "Are you serious?" He twisted around and reluctantly sat up so that he could see Jethro's face. He was unused to seeing vulnerability on the older man's face.

"We've been together for years. You ever known me to joke about something important?"

"Jethro, you've never…" Tony paused uncertain how to put his thoughts into words.

"I knew when we first met that there was something about you. I wanted to keep you in my life, so I brought you to NCIS. Told myself it was because you were a good detective and you are. You're the best agent I have ever worked with including NCIS, FBI, CIA or any other agency. For several years, I fooled myself. After Mexico…"

"You were an ass."

"Remembered more than I let on when I came back. Down in Mexico, I dreamed about the times I nearly lost you. The times that I slapped you on the back of the head. The feel of your hair. The sound of your voice. I dreamed of what I wanted to do to you. When I came back…when I came back I told myself it was for Ziva but it wasn't. I didn't want her to drag you into something and get you killed. When I saw you, I couldn't… I wanted to take you in my arms and…" Jethro shook his head.

"I wasn't ready then." Tony confessed. "I hated you for leaving. I hated you for how you came back and just pushed me away. I couldn't quite understand why I was feeling the way I did. Every day while you were in Mexico, I cursed you for leaving us… No, that's wrong. I cursed you for leaving me. After the team was split up, I hated you for not fighting for me. Not the way you fought for McGee and Ziva. The whole time I was on that blasted ship I told myself I hated you… but when I saw you… I knew I couldn't hate you. I found myself saying really stupid things just to goad you into slapping me. Head slapping for foreplay. Couldn't you picture toothpick's face if he knew the truth?"

Jethro laughed. "And McGee's."

"Just so we're on the same page," Tony said apprehensively. "Are you and I... Are we breaking Rule 12? Are you and I… we?"

Jethro touched Tony's cheek lightly. "I think we are. So, uh, what's say we take a few days off after the holidays… maybe move your stuff in?"

"I think that's the best Christmas present that I could ever have." Tony tilted his head slightly as Jethro gently touched the back of his head and drew him in for a gentle kiss, followed by a long, lingering kiss.

The chime of nearby church bells roused Tony. He could hear Jethro's heart beating. Opening his eyes, the tree was still lit.

"Merry Christmas, Tony." Jethro whispered in his ear.

"Merry Christmas, Jethro." Tony was so relieved that it wasn't a dream.

"Not a dream."

Tony didn't even stop to wonder how Jethro knew what he was thinking. "I can't believe it. My first real Christmas and I got everything I could possible want."

"Our first Christmas." Jethro replied.

"The first of many?"

"The first of many." Jethro confirmed knowing Tony needed the re-assurance. "We'll go shopping. Decorate."

"Watch a game."

"OSU for the win… Maybe Dad will come next year. We'll invite everyone to Christmas dinner. But, Christmas Eve… That's our time. We'll lay on the couch…"

"A new couch, wide enough for both us." Tony interrupted.

"And watch the tree." Jethro continued. "Listen to music and fall asleep in each other's arms."

After thinking it over, Tony decided that future Christmas' were going to be very merry and bright. That was definitely worth looking forward to in his book.


End file.
